Reminiscent

Nostalgia is such an intense emotion. Despite all the time that passes, feelings still linger. 

Looking through old photos reminds me of when there wasn't a care in the world. Imprinted in my mind is the compassionate practice of holding space for those we appreciate.

It was simple. Meet anywhere, meet at so-and-so’s house. Even hearing it from the grapevine, we intuitively knew it was an invite for us. Those moments weren't conducive to my long-term goals, and to be fair, I didn’t have any back then. 

I enjoyed the life I was living. It’d be unjust to say being there for others at the expense of myself made more sense than the alternative. I was constantly showing up for myself, and arbitrarily, that meant I was often there for others. There were no thoughts of where I’d end up if I continued in such a direction. 

Leaving most of it behind came at the cost of burning bridges which once meant the world. And the weight of the world felt so heavy back then. As years pass, I’ve understood that these relationships, as with any, are salvageable. The sentiment of those moments serve as a glass half full reminder. 

I recall full days spent together falling short— and it seemed to creep in abundance. A signal of unsustainability. And perhaps, in those cracks, I already knew this wasn’t meant to last. We wrung each other dry. 

For what it’s worth, we did what we needed to fulfill our desires. We worked jobs that made just enough to sustain our lifestyle. I miss the simplicity of those days. It was easy. We moved in earnest. 

Knowing that I’d be seeing my people the next day, for days on end, brought a comforting routine. That period, filled with great memories, couldn’t give birth to the goals I have now. Ones which have long surpassed simplicity and ease; I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss those times. 

Life has changed a lot, and yet not much at all. Because it was then that I had a strong love for myself.  A love serving as a reminder of how where I was in life was okay. A love that provided comfort and security in moving however I wanted. To an extent, I still have this.

Despite years passing, I continue to have a love for myself which helps me recognize and appreciate the supportive people who surround me.