cancerous

after a long and exhausting relationship, i have finally severed ties from what has held me back for so long. it’s laughable to look back and see the rosy retrospection of it all. in the shared moments with you i still persevered. i found happiness even though your constant mental abuse lingered around. i pushed through my darkest hours with you because even though you had control over me, i wouldn’t let it get to my head.

the break up was difficult. i kept thinking why i would have done this. nauseated, sickly, and no will to press on, i remembered how easy it was to deal with you than to remove you from my life. i thought about you and me together again. i can’t believe that i did. this went on for over a year. how easy it was to live with you than without. i thought how wrong it was to let someone else in. someone that wanted to stick with me. to fix the broken pieces of my soul when we split. i wish i could go back.

and then i was glad my childish wish didn’t come true. because today was the day i was liberated from our toxic relationship. Today i was given the strength to confidently, no longer let you back in my life. today felt like a brief moment of serenity amidst a long period of chaos. and after having a breath of fresh air after all that pollution, i can get back to living the life i had wanted to live years ago